


Your Heart Is The Only Place That I Call Home

by realthicbitch



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluffy, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, give me all the fluff for them please, kind of?, they're just so gay, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realthicbitch/pseuds/realthicbitch
Summary: “I’m not okay, I’m tired, Judy.” Jen sniffled, a sound that made her cringe at her own lack of composure. "I feel like I’m drowning in all the things I’m supposed to take care of.” She rested her head on Judy’s shoulder. She felt a little better having gotten that off of her chest but it wasn’t enough. She could still feel all the tension in her back and shoulders, in her neck and the way she sat rigid in Judy’s arms. Judy stroked Jen’s hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.“So let me take care of you."
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 14
Kudos: 157





	Your Heart Is The Only Place That I Call Home

Jen tapped her fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. The traffic on her way home was unbearable, and with Charlie sitting in the passenger seat, scowling and giving her the silent treatment, her patience was wearing thin. She had needed to pick him up from school early, after getting a phone call from the principal. Charlie had gotten into a fight with some kid, thrown punches, and ended up with a split lip and what she assumed would become a black eye. When she asked him what happened, all he said was that he didn’t want to talk about it, choosing instead to stare straight ahead out the window.

“You can tell me, you know, what happened,” Jen said, trying to sound approachable but there was still that bite in her voice that she could never fully get rid of.

“Yeah,” Charlie said dismissively. “I know.”

Jen pressed the brake pedal as the cars in front of her halted once again.

“Well, are you gonna?”

Charlie just sighed and put his earbuds in and Jen decided not to fight him. They were too similar, too quick to anger, and not being able to get away from each other for a little while would only make things worse. So Jen sat in silence, inching her way home along the freeway, stress building with every flash of the brake lights from the car ahead of her. The traffic in Laguna was normally slow but this was just ridiculous. Jen could feel her body temperature rising in frustration the longer she sat unmoving.

As well as this thing with Charlie, work had been a complete disaster. Lorna informed her that a sale Jen was about to close had fallen through, costing her credit for the sale and the huge commission she had been counting on. Now she wasn’t sure how she was going to swing the mortgage payment and have enough for groceries, gas and all of the other things her family would need in the coming weeks. She sounded the car horn, letting it blare for a few moments to try and alleviate some tension but it didn’t do much.

They arrived home nearly an hour later and as soon as Jen parked the car, Charlie was outside and disappearing into the house. Jen leaned her head against the steering wheel. It had been a spectacularly frustrating day. She sighed heavily and gathered her belongings before heading into the house.

“Hey, Mom!” came Henry’s sweet voice from the kitchen. She walked in to find him standing at the island with Judy, helping her chop vegetables for that night’s dinner. It was a common occurrence now, coming home to find Henry in the kitchen with Judy. She had been teaching him how to cook for the last few months and Jen had to admit - he’d come a long way from burnt pancakes. 

“Hey, Honey. What are you guys making?” She dropped her purse and keys onto the counter and sat across from Henry and Judy. 

"Vegetable pot pie," Henry said, concentrating on making his carrot slices even. "Judy says it's even better than chicken pot pie." Jen smiled and stole a piece of carrot from Henry's cutting board. 

"I'm sure it is."

“How was work?” Judy asked, flashing Jen a smile that almost made up for the shitty day she’d had. 

Almost.

“Well, you-know-who was awful, as usual,” she said, reaching for a piece of the celery Judy was cutting but Judy slapped her hand away playfully.

“Are you talking about Grandma?” Henry asked, looking up from his carrots. 

_ Shit. _

“No, sweetie.” Luckily, Henry didn’t push it further. “And then there was the whole deal with… you know,” she glanced upward, indicating she meant Charlie. “I’ll tell you about it later. How was your day?” Jen really didn’t want to talk about herself and the day she’d had. She’d much rather be pulled into Judy’s world and lose herself in Judy's grin and the way her eyes would light up as she spoke excitedly about the residents she helped express themselves through art.

Before Judy could answer though, Charlie came down the stairs, his backpack in one hand and his skateboard in the other.

“I’m going to Michael’s,” he said, not bothering to even look at Jen.

“What? Excuse me, get over here right now!” She heard Charlie sigh before he turned and joined them in the kitchen. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I just told you, I’m going to Michael’s,” he said, rolling his eyes. The eye-rolling almost angered Jen more than his attitude.

“You’re not going anywhere, Charlie. Don’t forget you just got sent home for fucking  _ fighting _ and you’re lucky you’re not-”

“That guy was a fucking dick!”

“Ugh, you know what Charlie, I don’t wanna hear it! Your teachers saw you start that fight and you’re  _ so lucky  _ you didn’t get fucking suspended!” Jen heard Judy quietly usher Henry out of the room, hearing her say something about ordering a pizza instead.

“You’re gonna go upstairs, wait for dinner and you’re not leaving this house except to go to school for at least a week. Got it?” Charlie stomped off, muttering something that sounded like  _ fucking bitch  _ as he went. Jen quickly left the room before anyone could see her cry.

***

“Jen, are you alright?” Judy knocked on the bedroom door before coming in anyway, carrying a plate of pizza and a water bottle. Jen wished it was wine instead.

“I’m fine,” she said, taking neither the food or the water when Judy offered them to her.

“Jen, come on, don’t hold it all in, it’s not healthy. Tell me what’s wrong. Please?” 

_ Ugh.  _ Why did Judy have to be right all the time? She knew letting everything out would make her feel better, but she was still uncomfortable offering herself and her vulnerabilities up for someone to see and potentially use against her.

“Charlie called me a fucking bitch earlier,” she mumbled, taking a sip from the water bottle for something to focus on other than Judy’s shocked face.

“He didn’t!”

“Yep.”

“Well, that’s… that’s just completely untrue, you know that right? You’re not a bitch. Well, I know you say you are but you’re not to us. Well-”

“Judy, stop. Yes, I’m a fucking bitch, I just didn’t think Charlie thought so anymore… It hurt. To hear him say that.” She took another sip of water. "And I’ve got this fucking headache that won’t go away, and I’m just...” She sat on the edge of her bed and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to cry. It would feel too much like defeat and she needed to keep some sort of control over what was happening. But she felt Judy's hand rest on her back and scratch it lightly and she lost that last bit of her resolve. Jen cried. All of the things she had been feeling began to pour out of her and she couldn’t stop. She was vaguely aware of the bed sinking slightly as Judy sat next to her, the feeling of Judy's arms around her middle, a small comfort. But still the tears wouldn’t stop, and god, did that make the pounding in her head even worse.

“Shh…” Judy rocked her gently as well as their position would allow. “I’ve got you, it’s okay. You’re okay.” 

“I’m  _ not  _ okay,” Jen countered. “I’m tired, Judy.” Jen sniffled, a sound that made her cringe at her own lack of composure. “I’m just so tired, and sore. I feel like I’m drowning in all the things I’m supposed to take care of.” She rested her head on Judy’s shoulder. She felt a little better having gotten that off of her chest but it wasn’t enough. She could still feel all the tension in her back and shoulders, in her neck and the way she sat rigid in Judy’s arms. Judy stroked Jen’s hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“So let me take care of  _ you _ ,” Judy said quietly, pulling away from their embrace and meeting Jen’s gaze.

“What?”

Judy tucked Jen’s hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek with her fingertips, trailing them down Jen’s neck and over her shoulder. She exchanged her fingers for her lips, kissing Jen’s cheek and then her throat. Jen froze. This was new.  _ Very  _ new. They had exchanged cheek kisses before; it was normal for them to always be touching each other in some way, but those touches had never been this intimate. Judy’s fingers lingered on Jen’s skin in a way that made her pulse quicken with nervous excitement. Surely it was just because no one had touched her like this in so long, right? There was no way it had anything to do with the fact that it was Judy touching her. And it  _ definitely  _ had nothing to do with the fact that, more often than not, when Jen was alone with her hand between her legs, it was Judy’s hands she imagined. 

“I happen to know, like, a crazy good cure for a headache,” Judy said softly as she ran her fingers through Jen’s hair and over her scalp, coming to rest at the nape of her neck. Her soft touch gave Jen the chills, goosebumps spreading over her arms and a warmth that settled in her belly. Jen could feel her body start to relax as Judy began kissing the other side of her face.

“What, um… What?” Jen asked as Judy pulled away from her. But Judy didn’t answer, she only grinned and took Jen’s face in her hands and pulled her close enough to kiss her.

Jen immediately felt butterflies, which was gross because feelings were gross, but she loved it all the same. She turned her body and brought one leg up underneath her on the bed to better face Judy, who was now running the tip of her tongue along Jen’s bottom lip. Jen parted her lips and Judy met her somewhere in the middle. The room was silent, save for their breathing, but they didn’t need words to communicate. There was something that connected them on a level so deep they could almost read each other’s thoughts.

_ I’ve got you, you’re okay. _

_ I know. _

_ Is this okay? _

_ It’s more than okay. _

_ I love you. _

_ I love you too. _

Judy pulled away from the kiss, lightly scraping Jen’s bottom lip with her teeth. She rested her forehead against Jen’s and gave her a peck on the lips, once, twice, three times before she softly pushed her down onto the bed.

Jen was in uncharted territory. She was an instigator, she was a leader, the dominant one in every relationship she’d ever had. She didn’t enjoy feeling vulnerable and scrutinized. She raised herself up on her elbows to say as much but Judy put a finger to her lips.

“This is about you, okay? I want to take care of you. All you have to do,” she paused to straddle Jen’s hips, “is enjoy it. Is that okay?” She asked, an edge of worry in her voice like she was afraid she’d gone too far. Jen nodded despite her reservations. Judy was safe, someone she could trust. Jen had let her guard down in front of her so often already. If she was going to let this happen with anyone, she knew Judy would be the one.

“Yes.”

Judy grinned that bright smile that lit up whatever room she was in. It was like looking at the sun, Jen realized, as Judy leaned forward to kiss her neck and nip at the skin at her throat. Being with Judy was like being in the presence of the sun itself; she knew she could end up getting burned but it felt so good.

“You gotta move up a little, okay? I don’t want to hurt your back,” Judy said breathlessly, and Jen realized her legs were still hanging off of the edge of the bed. Judy climbed off of her and Jen felt self-conscious as she wriggled awkwardly toward the headboard.

“You’re so beautiful,” Judy said, and Jen knew she meant it because Judy never said things she didn’t mean. She straddled Jen’s hips again and pulled the hem of her blouse up to reveal her stomach. Jen cringed internally, she hadn’t worked out in a couple of weeks and had started to notice a little pudge developing. If Judy noticed she didn’t care, she only slid further down Jen’s legs so she could kiss her stomach and trace random patterns on her skin with her tongue.

Jen felt herself relax under Judy's touch, the tension she held in her body melting away. Judy unbuttoned her blouse and opened it, urging Jen to sit up. She pushed the blouse off over Jen's shoulders and pulled her into another kiss. It was soft and sweet, there was no urgency, nothing that made Jen feel like she was expected to respond in any particular way. It was only Judy expressing her love for her and not asking for anything in return. 

Honestly, this wasn’t how Jen thought their first time would go. Not that she thought about it often, she tried to rationalize, but she knew that was a lie. She had always imagined that she would be the one to initiate. She would be the one to pull Judy into that first kiss before lowering her onto their bed, because of course it would be  _ their  _ bed by then, and making Judy writhe underneath her and come undone around her fingers. Jen was shocked the first time she caught herself thinking about it. She had never been with a woman before but she found herself thinking more and more about being with Judy. How could she not? With all of their hugs and cuddles and hand holding and light, lingering touches, it almost seemed like an inevitability now that she looked back on it.

Judy was so different from any man she had ever been with. Except for Ted, in the beginning, they were always ready to take from her. They didn’t care much for foreplay and treated her more like a possession than a person. Their touches were only for them, not for her. But Judy, oh god. Judy was touching her like she was the most valuable work of art, her fingers ghosting over the skin of Jen’s collarbones and her ribs, appreciating every freckle and imperfection.

"Is it okay if I take this off?" Judy asked, playing with the strap of Jen's bra. Jen nodded before she even realized that she was agreeing. Judy had already seen all of her scars, after the accident when she needed help dressing. It had been a different kind of intimacy, but still a defining moment for Jen. It was really hard for her at first. She had wanted desperately to turn away, to make Judy leave, make sure that she never saw her that way again. But she needed help and she finally had to swallow her fears and let Judy see all of her. Judy hadn't recoiled or expressed disgust like she feared she would. She made Jen feel  _ normal  _ for just a moment, like the flaws she saw in herself weren’t reflected in the eyes of someone she loved. Now, Judy unclasped Jen's bra and pulled it off, giving her a look so full of love that Jen nearly cried. This felt right. It felt familiar in a way that Jen couldn’t explain.

"Can I…?" Judy gestured toward Jen's chest, waiting for Jen’s permission before raising her hand to cup one of Jen’s breasts, running her thumb gently over the pink scar. "You're so beautiful, Jen," she said, leaning forward to drop kisses over Jen's throat, her collarbones, and then finally the swell of her breast. Jen's head fell back and she sighed, letting go the remainder of her apprehension. She knew in this moment, while Judy was kissing her chest and handling her with such care, that she was safe. She didn't need to be on guard around her. It was a strange feeling, but a good one. She wasn't sure if she would have ever felt this way with anyone other than Judy. But that didn't matter because she realized she wouldn't want to experience this with anyone else ever again. 

Judy must have felt Jen relax further into her touch because she wrapped one arm around Jen's back and eased her down onto the bed. She kissed Jen's forehead, her cheeks, her lips. She settled there and Jen smiled into their kiss and snaked her arms around Judy's shoulders, holding her body against hers. Jen hummed in contentment, realizing just how turned on she was. She squirmed under Judy just slightly, just enough to open her legs a bit wider and feel Judy's weight on her center. She was suddenly grateful for changing into yoga pants when she had come upstairs, the thin fabric making their contact just that much more intense. Judy rocked her hips, the sudden pressure making Jen whimper. It wasn't a sound she could recall ever making. No one had ever made her feel this good by doing so little but Judy had done so much more than just touch her body. 

"Can I take these off?" Judy skimmed her hands over the waist of Jen's pants before resting them on the mattress and pushing herself up. When Jen gave her the okay, Judy sat back on her heels and hooked her fingers under the waistband, pulling them down over Jen's smooth, toned legs. 

Jen lay there in just her underwear. She may as well have been completely naked but instead of feeling ugly and picked apart, she felt desired and admired. 

"Are you okay? Is everything, ya know… are you comfortable?" Judy appeared to grow worried and bit her lip. Jen felt a swell of affection for her, wondering what she could have possibly done to deserve the woman in front of her. She reached for Judy's hand and squeezed it. 

"I don't think I've ever been more comfortable with anyone," Jen reassured her, earning that beautiful Judy smile.

Judy skimmed her hands over Jen's stomach to her hips, then to her inner thighs, making Jen jump slightly when her fingers brushed over the growing wet spot on her underwear. Jen let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh, making Judy repeat the action a few more times. She brought her mouth back to Jen's throat and trailed soft, wet kisses down her body until she reached her thighs again. 

Jen felt like she was about to lose it. She wanted Judy so badly now, anticipating what her fingers might feel like inside of her, she felt wanton. She hadn't been touched like this in so long, probably ever, and she couldn't help but open her legs just a little bit wider and bring her knees up just slightly. Judy placed her hands over the thin lace of her underwear and looked up at her, beaming. 

"Do you want me to take these off, too?"

"God, yes."

Judy hooked her fingers under the front of Jen’s underwear and pulled them down slowly, grinning when she saw how ready Jen was for her. 

"What do you want?" Judy asked, genuinely curious which Jen thought was adorable. 

"You," Jen sighed, and then Judy was all over her. 

Judy ran a finger through Jen's arousal, making her buck her hips slightly upward. With one finger, she traced circles around Jen's clit and Jen hummed in pleasure and arched her back. She almost couldn't believe how strongly she was reacting to the slightest of touches. Judy slowly pushed two fingers inside of her, curling them just so, and Jen gasped, her eyes snapping open to meet Judy's gaze. 

"Is this alright?" Judy asked, but Jen knew she was only teasing now, wanting to hear what Jen was thinking. 

"You better not…" Jen's breath hitched as Judy thrusted her fingers into her a little more roughly. "...better not stop."

"I'm not gonna stop," Judy reassured her, keeping her fingers moving but lowering herself until she was eye level with Jen's center. 

"Shit, Judy, oh my god," Jen said as Judy's tongue made gentle contact with her clit, before pulling her between her lips. Judy flicked lightly with her tongue making Jen's breath come in heavy pants as she gripped the sheets tightly in her fists. Her face was shining with sweat, hair sticking to her damp skin. She raised her hips higher to meet Judy's mouth. She couldn't believe how close she was already. Judy wasn't moving her fingers very fast but each movement was deliberate and effective. 

"Please don't stop, oh god, ah,  _ fuck _ !"

Jen came without much warning, Judy's fingers and tongue coaxing her down from the high. Her hips jerked slightly with aftershocks as Judy pulled her fingers from inside of her. Something felt complete now, a warmth inside of her chest made her feel whole. Jen relaxed her grip on the sheets and reached for Judy's hand, lacing their fingers together. She felt warm and content and so loved. She giggled, honestly fucking  _ giggled  _ like she did when they'd get high together. When she thought about it, this felt really similar. She was happy and light and, for the moment, wasn't worried about anything. She needed Judy close. She needed to feel her, warm and solid and real beside her. She tugged on her hand softly and Judy grinned, knowing exactly what Jen wanted. 

"Do you feel better?" Judy asked, cuddling up next to Jen and kissing her cheek. Judy held Jen in her arms and laid her head on Jen's shoulder. Jen nuzzled Judy's hair, thinking of how the sweet smell of her shampoo and perfume would now carry a heavier weight in her memories. She hadn't felt this good in a long time. 

"I do… I love you," Jen whispered into Judy's hair. For a second, the fear and discomfort of being vulnerable wormed its way back. Maybe she had completely misread this situation, maybe this wasn't as serious to Judy who was only trying to make her friend feel better.

"I love you too," Judy said, pulling away just enough so she could reach Jen and kiss her. "Are you cold? Hang on… Here." Judy reached for Jen's bathrobe which was laying on the table at the end of the bed. She opened it and covered her with it, returning to their former position. "Is this, like… Do you want us, like this?" asked Judy quietly, looking up at Jen from under her bangs with those big brown eyes that turned Jen into mush. She was pretty sure Judy could get her to do anything she wanted if she just looked at her like that for long enough. But this felt right, Jen thought as she kissed Judy again, suddenly unable to get enough of her. It felt like the normal she had desperately been trying to find.

"I want you like this… my person, my best friend… all of it."

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey i used to be carriex3 but i changed my psued to match my twitter. thanks so much to hayley and bgaydocrimes for not only bullying me into writing but also making sure this was readable ♡


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